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Matching styles available.
Long Leg Ball Hammock
Boxer Micro Modal

MICRO-MODAL

3x softer
than cotton

Boxer Subscription

8.5 INCH INSEAM

keeps your legs warm
during thighbernation

Egg Hammock
SUPPORTING

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who’ve had their balls crushed and those without balls. We’re here to make a third group.

Moisture Wicking
MOISTURE WICKING

The summer sack stick is real and without our patented protection your inner thigh will feel like the bottom of a table at Denny’s.

Bulge Enhancing
ENHANCING

Whether it’s your first night together or your thousandth you can always make the big reveal more magical.


Description

War is a terrible thing. So we feel it’s important to inform the masses of the conflict that ravages the North Pole each year as supply chains become more congested and Santa’s holiday routine becomes ever more stressful for all involved. Reindeer can shoot laser beams from their frickin eyes and elves do commit acts of violence against leprechauns even though they have more in common than they’d like to admit. Santa also traded in his boomer sleigh for a slick and modern attack craft courtesy of his friends at Area 51. The extra firepower could prove to be valuable in his efforts to defeat the intergalactic Turkey Confederation. The war for the title of best gift giver is almost as fierce as the Holiday Wars, but victory is guaranteed when you snag these holiday war Long Leg Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear.


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